Tuesday, July 5, 2016

James of many faces


Dedicated to Kellen and Conner Hook.


Everyone has multiple faces that they show to a variety of audiences.

I use the word "audiences" because of the Bard – William Shakespeare, 1564 - 1616.

“All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.”

As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII


Not really sure about the mewling and puking stuff, but, James would probably be able to explain it or at least make up something plausible that I’d believe to be true.

But, I’ll never know for sure.

Last September (2015) we suffered a tragic loss.

My Nephew, James Hook, at age 43, two weeks after passing a full physical exam, died.

Autopsy was inconclusive.  No rational reason for this healthy, robust, fun loving individual to be sick, let alone die.

But, I come not to Bury James, But to praise him. 

I think that’s paraphrased vaguely from Julius Cesar – again by Bill the Bard – I don’t know, but James would have known and let me know about how much I bastardized the semi-para phrased quote, because, James’ vocation was acting.  Plus he was knowledgeable on many levels.  But since I have Google:

Julius Caesar is a tragedy by William Shakespeare probably written in 1599. It portrays the ... I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him quote, which I switched up for my own use.

But, I digress (I’ve always wanted to say that).

We all have Personas or Faces that we show to people depending on our relationship (or lack thereof) to our many audiences.  And, James had more Faces for more audiences than most of us.

Son, teenager, Student, Marine, Student, boyfriend, Actor, fiancé, husband, Son-in-law, Nephew, Friend.

I’m sure there were more, but this is a low budget production and no budget for research.

The point is that each individual acts differently with different audiences – we have one face at work, one playing poker, one with our spouses, and one with our children, one when walking to our car with our family, and on and on.  

As an actor, James had a very complex life and therefore many faces to many different people.

I personally saw many of the faces of James – even before he was James – with the family.  When Nicole first started dating him and brought him to family functions he was Jim.  Then, as he started auditioning for acting roles, he was James.  Then later, he was Jim, again.  

So, and memory serves me poorly here - either Nick or Bobby or both, neither one to put up with this kind of Stuff, said one day – Jim – James –  Jim – what IS your name – Jim or James – or Jim James? 

Or something like that!

"Jim James" Stuck for quite a while.  

But, just to the Family audience with his family face.  I will always fondly refer to my nephew as Jim James.  But, for this post – we’ll stick with James.

James loved a good party – regardless of the face he had on.  And after his death, his wife, my niece Nicole, knew she had to do something special to help all of James’ audiences celebrate his life.  

So, she threw not one but two of the best parties that James would have loved to attend.

First, at Western Connecticut State University, where he and Nicole attended and, yes – met. This was the more formal gathering, in the setting that helped shape one of his faces – the Actor.  

Many people in his audience spoke – professors, co-workers, family, friends, and each had a different story because of their specific relationship with James. 

He had messages from the cast and crew of the TV Series White Collar  as well as from the management of the Kansas City Chiefs – his very best favorite professional sports team.

It would be impossible to document all of the incredible stories that were told by James’ audiences, but I can offer some of the photos that were on display and some that I took in the brief moment in time that I knew Jim James.

James left us when his second born son, Conner, was a mere baby, and his first born son Kellen, just heading for kindergarten.  They are both loved and have a tremendous family and friend’s support system that I hope they will someday come to understand and appreciate.

While James had many faces, the one I most identified with and enjoyed was his fishing face. 

I moved my wife and two daughters away from the east coast for employment opportunities on the west coast and then to the Midwest.  However, whenever we visited family for the holidays, I’d find time to sneak away to go fishing in some of my old haunts.  While I dearly love my family, I relished my time alone on the East Branch of the Croton River teasing trout.

Several years ago, James caught on to my way to get away and just chill out.  Not being shy, he asked if he could join me.  James had some fishing experience as a kid, but not much as an adult – I use the term adult loosely because, like myself, I don’t think James ever truly grew up – his inner child was always near the surface ready to play!

The first time we went fishing together we tried the Housatonic – way too high and muddy, Candlewood Lake – too crowded, and finally Pootatuck creek.  The Pootatuck was very low and we only found one pool below a dam that had water and fish.  I caught a 12” brown trout and James caught a 12” Bluegill with a rod I loaned him.

We fished the East Branch of the Croton River a few times after that on holidays and he continued to use one of my spinning rods.  But, he was interested in my fly fishing ability and asked a lot of questions leading me to believe he was ready to make a switch.  To facilitate this, I built a quasi-Tenkara rod for him.  A 10’ telescopic rod with 15’ of line and leader and no reel.  It would give him the feel of fly casting without the expense.

I “loaned” him the rod and he fished the entire day with it – no fish for either of us.

I asked him if he liked the rod.  He said he did, and I said, “My gift to you.”  It was very inexpensive, but I could tell that he really liked the rod and appreciated the gift.  I also gave him a fly box with a variety of trout flies that I tied.

James Hook was hooked (groan).  His fishing face was far different than any other face I ever saw.  Very relaxed, calm, and totally disconnected from the stress and pressures of the work-a-day world.

The next couple of times we fished, he used the quasi-Tenkara (a converted telescopic crappie pole that he modified and decorated to make it his own creation.)

So, now knowing he was serious about fly fishing I decided that I’d build him a real fly rod for Christmas – a 9’ 4 wt., IM6 graphite rod with an Orvis Encounter reel and classic 444 Cortland line.

Unfortunately, the rod was not finished by Christmas, so he had to settle for photos of the blank, reel and handle until Easter.  
Also unfortunately, when I gave him the rod at Easter, we didn’t have time to fish.  Sadly, I doubt that he ever had a chance to use it.


But, having been bitten by the fly fishing bug, he started researching the sport and we had several conversations about fly rod/reel brands and techniques and places to fish.

Our last phone conversation was when he was at the Valley Angler during their going out of business sale.  He called to ask about the value of some of the equipment.  I’m not sure what he actually bought, but there was some very good equipment on sale for very low prices, and I still feel honored that he would call me for advice.

Our last conversation was via text.  My daughter Meghan and her boyfriend Daniel were taking the train to Connecticut for a weekend and a tree fell down across the tracks.  James, without a heartbeat of hesitation – always the Marine to the rescue – drove to the last station before the tree fall to pick up Meghan and Daniel.  

This was our last communication via text:

Me: James to the rescue!  Thank you so much for helping Meghan and Daniel when the Train got Treed!  I appreciate that you’ve got their backs.  Dave.

James: No problem.  That’s what family does. I appreciate the text.  More importantly, when are we going fishing…

Me: Fishing – I’ve heard of it – I’ll Google it and get back to you.

Then…he was gone…but definitely not forgotten.

This is the 2016 July 4th weekend – Independence Day nationally, but we all depend on each other every day.

Tomorrow, I plan to give Kellen his first fly casting lesson.  

It will be a challenge.  

(Blogger's Note: The lesson was GREAT! - but that's another story)
Kellen with my latest creation:
 a 6'6" 
split bamboo, 3 wt rod and Orvis Access reel.
Kellen is very independent with a mind totally of his own – very much his father’s son.  

But I will teach him and his brother Conner, the lessons and enjoyment of fly fishing that I was not able to totally share with their father.
James on the East Branch of the Croton River

James on the East Branch of the Croton River - same day downstream after buying hip boots.

Me on the East Branch of the Croton River - photo by James



James in his Blood Ties Face

The following Photos are from the memorial for James.



KC Chiefs at Buffalo Bills - KC won - my daughter Kristin in the foreground.

James in Blood Ties - far left




Conner




Early Ad Campaign - James is on the left.



James and Nicole

James and Nicole




James - young

James - younger


Son Conner and Papa - 7/2/16




Read the certificate.





He's in there somewhere!





Uncle Bobby and Nick (Papa) at the after party.


Conner, Papa and Kellen







James' Co-Workers

James and his harem- cousin, wife, James, cousin, sister-in-law.

Totally Cool
A father's face

No, I don’t have any specifics on the after party. 

But, James would have loved it!

James - see you on the water.

Dave



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